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_If you live in The U.S.A.; and I have given you this black and white page to read...it is because I do not know for sure, who you are._
And you probably do not know who I am, either.
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When I began using the internet in 1999, one of the first things I noticed, was just how strangely people behaved in chatrooms.
Many didn't want to state their REAL names; ACTUAL ages and locations.
Some even claimed they were really 102 years old, when their recent pictures were that of a much younger person.
Being NEW to the internet, I found it very difficult to understand this strange culture.
"Why would people log into a chatroom to argue / tell lies to one another?", I asked myself.
Wasn't internet chat about communicating - and making friends - just like with a Pen Pal?
And then I realized that the reason for this type of behavior, was attributed to all the negative stories about the internet - and due to these negative elements, people became fearful in chatrooms...and fear led to dishonesty...and dishonesty soon led to hypocrisy.
It also became clear to me, that if people were capable of telling LIES on a job resume / in an interview, they'd be a whole lot WORSE over the internet.
It wasn't very long, before I coined the phrase: "THE INTERNET MENTALITY OF CHATROOMS."
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There was this one time in Yahoo Chat...when I clicked on someone's Yahoo profile, on which had a link to her blog.
(I don't remember exactly where now, but I think she was located in Virginia.)
Anyway...
...on her blog, I saw a picture of her young son.
His name was Joshua Wright.
When I was done reading that blog, I came back into the chatroom and politely addressed her as: "Mrs. Wright."
She immediately stopped typing to everyone!
Earlier on, she'd been laughing and making jokes with everyone on the room screen, but after I mentioned her REAL name...she suddenly became fearful.
Well, it certainly didn't cut any ice with me, so I logged out of Yahoo Messenger and thought to myself:
"How idiotic it is, to place your child's picture and real name on your blog, but yet, at the same time...you become afraid when others in a chatroom get to know your REAL last name."
Didn't this Mrs. Wright realize that the link in her profile could be clicked on, by just about anyone??
Perhaps she didn't give it much SERIOUS thought...given the fact that most people don't take the time to READ an entire profile from top to bottom CAREFULLY, but are more interested in gawking at pictures instead.
(As if the profile pictures would tell them EVERYTHING about the character AND personality of the individual.) _*L.O.L.*_
Well, as far as I was concerned, Mrs. Wright became Mrs. Wrong!
That's just one aspect of The Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms.
Another aspect, is when they rudely tell you:
'Do not I.M. me. TALK to me in the room.' (What they really mean is: TYPE to me in the chatroom.)
I once asked someone who told me to "TALK" to her in the room:
Do you allow your neighbors to EAVESDROP on your phone conversations?
She answered: 'no' - so I told her:
That's exactly what you're doing now.
Everyone in the chatroom can SEE what you type.
Would you like it, if total strangers saw personal questions and answers given by you?
Since you've asked me to communicate with you in a public environment, you should also allow your neighbors to eavesdrop on your phone conversations.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
The internet runs through the phone line. (At least mine does.)
And since communication runs through the phone line, there is No Major Difference between sending messages on a computer screen, than there is...with sending messages using a FAX machine.
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The Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms can also be attributed to spending many hours playing video games on a computer.
Some video games promote role-playing, where the player takes on the role of a superhero.
Although seemingly harmless, once the game is over,
the person's brain might still be "programmed" to believe that he / she is still "in character" - if you know what I mean.
No. _ It is NOT wrong to play video games...but it can become EXTREMELY dangerous if the human brain fails to comprehend the difference between the video game and reality.
Therefore, you must not forget who and what you are.
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Then there was this Indian Catholic woman from Seremban, Malaysia whom I had encountered in OkCupid.com in 2007.
She told me her name was Anita George.
She was angry at some guy who lived in her town, because he had the audacity to give her his phone number and home address.
So, I explained to her real quick, that: 'The Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms distorts the perception of REALITY.'
To which she replied: 'Exactly.'
Poor thing didn't understand that I was actually referring to HER mentality!
SO WHAT if that guy gave her his phone number. _ Big deal!
Just because communication transpires in cyberspace...all WISDOM and COMMON SENSE should go out the window?
That's just...plain wrong.
Even if that guy wanted to meet her Face To Face, she could've at least demonstrated some courtesy, by informing him that IF they ever were to meet, it would be in a PUBLIC PLACE - like a restaurant, instead of at his home. - Not get mad at him for giving her his phone number and address.
What do you do when someone hands you his / her business card?
Get angry and throw it back into his / her face? ?
Of course not. - Not unless you wanted to give the impression that you were uncivilized.
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Some time ago, I had lunch at a Chinese restaurant.
Just as I was leaving, the owner of that restaurant handed me his business card, on which was printed HIS FULL NAME and HIS PHONE NUMBER.
Here I was, a total stranger to him. Yet, he didn't even ask my name.
I simply accepted his card; said thank you...and went on my way.
No "Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms" there.
No such thing as: "It doesn't matter what my last name is."
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Some might argue that it is a matter of SECURITY.
But at what level of security?
Think carefully, now.
Which environment is SAFER? -
Communicating online? . . . Or face to face?
I once told someone:
You must NEVER be afraid of people over the internet. _
No one can reach through their computer screens and twist your ear.
_*L.O.L.*_
It makes more sense to be cautious and wary of those who are able to grab your bag / wallet / purse and run.
It makes more sense to be cautious and wary of those who are able to REACH OUT and do physical harm to you, THAN to be fearful of someone on the other side of a COMPUTER SCREEN - perhaps even wayyy over on the other side of the globe.
Yes. We've all seen and heard news reports about child molesters; kidnappers; homosexuals; lesbians; drug addicts; alcoholics; robbers and murderers lurking in chatrooms.
They probably have their own personal websites - and definitely have their own E-mail addresses, too.
But that's like saying that every child molester; kidnapper; sex offender; drug addict; robber and murderer owns a telephone.
Does this mean...that for the SAFETY of your own children, you should terminate your phone line and sell your computer?
CONSIDER THIS:-
What's the point of typing on a chatroom screen - or even communicating via E-mail, if you don't want to make friends?
If all you want is a VIRTUAL chat buddy, you might as well go download one of those bot (robotic) programs, designed to respond with 'yes', 'no', 'good morning', 'how are you?' etc.
Everyone has personal preferences.
And as a matter of personal preference, there might be a SPECIFIC group of people with whom you'd like to interact with.
In which case, it is only proper that you mention it CLEARLY on your profile or homepage.
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When friends stop contacting me, it usually means that they have died._ Sadly, once they're dead and gone...hardly any Next-Of-Kin would know their PASSWORD to Sign-In / Log-In to inform anyone online.
I've received messages from people who hadn't bothered to
reply my E-mails and offline messages in many months claiming to be my friend, but after all that time, I really couldn't remember them. ` If you're reading this black and white page now, you'll understand what I mean by: when friends stop contacting me, it usually means that they have died.
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Pen Pal columns appeared in major newspapers and magazines, in the days BEFORE there ever was such a technology as: the international network.
Some of those foreign Pen Pals even submitted their pictures to those newspapers and magazines.
REAL first and last names; REAL photographs; REAL ages; REAL Home Addresses.
Imagine writing back to a potential Pen Pal in another country, who already knew what you looked like.
Was there anything similar to the "Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms" back then?
The answer is: No. - People were more honest, back then.
Unfortunately, we live in a different kind of world, today.
But no matter how things may seem today, I still truly believe that good and decent people should NOT allow
hypocrites;
liars;
cowards
nor traitors
to influence and corrupt their thinking - whilst preventing them from locating and making friends with other trustworthy, honest, straight-forward and reliable ones...for not every MAN on the internet is a pervert; and not every WOMAN on the internet is a snob.
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I still recall the culture shock I experienced back in 1999, when I encountered the many individuals born AND raised in the U.S.A., who couldn't spell even basic, simple English words.
Until today, many seem to have this weird perception: "oh, this is just a chatroom, so there's no need for me to bother about my spelling."
- I've actually felt sorry for those who couldn't spell well...and Lord knows I've tried my best to help them.
But I've felt even MORE sorry for those individuals who, for some strange reason, simply refused to make an effort to learn.
Because proper spelling doesn't begin in school.
Proper spelling begins at home.
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There is NO Tone Of Voice NOR Body Language in Instant Messages and in E-mails.
Misunderstandings often occur in Instant Messages and on chatroom screens, when poor Choice Of Words are used.
I do hope however, that the honest words which I've used on this black and white page...truly mean something to you.
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If you're still interested in becoming my friend today, you should visit (or re-visit) my HomePage: http://sites.google.com/site/c1n9r6v3/ and read EVERYTHING carefully.
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But IF you do not feel motivated to get to know me - or if your perception is still governed by "The Internet Mentality Of Chatrooms", I'd like to take this opportunity to sincerely
(and I do mean sincerely) wish you:
A very Merry Christmas; Happy Valentine's Day;
Happy Thanksgiving; Happy Birthday and a joyful Fourth Of July. ☺
Thank you so much for reading this black and white page.
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